Truths for Overcoming Social Anxiety

My mother was the master of walking into the grocery store to buy food for dinner and walking out with 5 new friends. I inherited that trait.

While some say I make it look easy, there are times when I have to hold my head high, smile and keep moving. I came across these “truths” from Neil Strauss for dealing with social anxiety and realized that not all were blessed with a mother that embarrassed them for the first 18 years of their life. Or more.

The “gift” I acquired from my mother is not a quintessential part of who I am, like it was for her, and I will be the first to admit that number 6 on the list (see below) is dead on. And 1, and 2, and 3 and…even for the seasoned veteran of talking to strangers. There is always a moment of uncertainty, so being “learning dependent”, as number 5 explains, has taken me farther in life than any other trait. Well, maybe a good smile and some flirting did get me through Customs in Germany with contraband meat in my luggage…

Asking questions about the other person and truly being interested in their story has been the best asset in meeting folks and even in my own personal relationships.

And remember, if someone’s story is boring, politely remind them that you need to finish shopping for dinner because your are STAHRVING DAHRLING.

Thank you Mr. Strauss for the reminder for some and lesson for most:
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THE TEN TRUTHS TO OVERCOMING SOCIAL ANXIETY

1. No one is watching you approach and judging you for it. They are just as worried about being judged and criticized as you are.
2. Don't worry if you're shy or nervous when approaching; people will be nicer to you because of it.
3. Let go of your outcome, whether it's a phone number or social validation. If you want nothing out of the interaction other than to speak to someone else, you have a 100 percent chance of succeeding as soon as you utter something.
4. A rejection is not a comment on who you are as a person. It is simply feedback on something you did.
5. Instead of being outcome dependent, be learning dependent
6. No one will say anything as insulting, mean, and cruel about you as the things you tell yourself.
7. Know that wherever you go, you are accepted. And if you don't know it yet, then act as if it’s true until experience proves it.
8. More people than you could possibly imagine are looking to meet someone just like you.
9. The only failure is not approaching. Because the pain and disappointment of letting yourself down is much greater than anything someone else can say.
10. And, finally…life is more fun when you open your mouth!
    This may be one of the easiest and quickest way to improve your life.

 
CREDIT:  Neil Strauss 2016
http://www.neilstrauss.com/neil/overcome_social_anxiety/